End of the year is always a good time... there's always school holidays, uni holidays and now even while working i get holidays too! And one wonders why i get so excited for the clock to keep ticking to december

Last shift in the library today... I can start having proper weekends for the next two months and not having to rush home from work every tuesday!! I enjoy working in the library.... mainly coz i get paid doing what i like to do... but sometimes to devote 8 to 15 hours a week do get in the way. 

I haven't been too happy all of this yr... mainly coz i've been pressuring myself a little and i was getting very very impatient. But.... today also marks my one yr anniversary in deloitte!! wooohoooo !! I've finally been in a job for 1 year and counting.... As much as i've tried to stay put and not change too many jobs, i've been itching to see what else is out there. I've always loved accounting and numbers.... should I go that direction? I do get quite passionate and excited about procurement... a new skill i've gained purely from work.... should I pursue this newly acquired skill? I have a qualification in accounting but no experience... I have experience in procurement but no qualification . Although i do kinda enjoy my last two projects in deloitte... i havent enjoyed the rest at all. And the problem with being a consultant is.... your happiness and satisfaction at work is highly correlated to the project and the person you work with. In a way it's good... bcoz u see the ending points to your pain... be it a month, 6 months or a year... but bad in a sense that it gets tiring when u get put on one crap project after another. There's been ups and downs.... and without having sie and kiez there with me..... perhaps i would've left by the 5th crap project i was on.... (i've been on 7 if u r wondering). Oh another push point... i dislike my counsellor! Oh well... i'll see where fate lands me.... i've been eyeing this job a few weeks now.... it's kinda out of my league, but if i never try i will never know? I am determined to believe that no matter what decision i make, be it ideal or not..... have something in it for me to learn... so it's never a wrong decision! A promise to myself that's for sure is.... I need to be in for further qualifications be it a language (proper quals in Chinese from UWA) and/or CPA or whatever post grad course... I've been eyeing Master of Science in SCM in Uni Melb or Master of Commerce specialising in SCM as well in UWA..... Choices choices choices!

But... nothing gets in the way of my festive mooooooodddd    

I read this in a book that I'm currently reading - Standing Without Shoes:

Depressed people in the Western culture are all too often encouraged to compare themselves to those surviving in poorer countries. Unhappy people crying over lost relationships or unfulfilled dreams are often reminded that they have their health and enough food on the table. Indeed, we are sometimes encouraged to feel guilty for experiencing any unhappiness when we live in such a 'privileged' society. How dare we weep when some people living in developing countries are disabled and hungry but still smiling? How dare we complain about the superficialities of our lives when others are struggling to make it through the day?

The answer to this question is simple. We find suffering in the things in life that we invest ourselves in. We mourn the loss of things that we value in relation to our identities and to our ideas of the meaning in life. If we invest our values in food and water, then we may well be depressed when we do not have enough to eat and drink. Thus, there is no point complaining our lives with those of other cultures and societies without also comparing our values. Indeed just saying 'Think of others less fortunate' is about as helpful a solution to chronic depression as saying 'have a nice day'.

A poor American is living in a society that places value on material wealth and fortune. Thus, to be poor is, in some sense, to have no value. It is harder to be poor and still feel happy when financial status is of value to your culture. It is no wonder that we in the western world marvel at happy faces seen on hungry people in developing countries. It is very hard for us to understand how these people can feel happy and content when they are so lacking in the things that our society values.

The belief that we can attain 'absolute happiness' or that we will be happy 'forever after' sets an impossible, unattainable goal and consequently, will - in and of itself - result in unhappiness. Promises of absolute happiness is a myth, and the simple fact is that you cannot have what does not exist. There will be times when you experience grief, anger or fear. Experiencing the variety of life's emotions can contribute to our emotional fulfilment.

It is an interesting book... paints a story about the misconceptions about happiness. I guess all of us are guilty of thinking that someone or something can make us happy like 'he makes me so happy/it would make me happier to have a new home/be a millionaire/be my own boss/travel overseas'. The book encourages us to own the responsibility for our own happiness and not be subject to vagaries of external events, other people, or life itself. Things and people can contribute to well being but happiness is something you choose to create...or not. Entirely up to u.

Hmmm... have you ever feel you look too young for a job?

It's never really crossed my mind that i look young or cute because I feel old....

It has happened once where I was chosen for a project and then I was swapped for another role because bluntly, they think I looked too young. It was then that i realize, yes, compared to alot of people my age or younger, I do look young and "cute".

Although I would hate to look older, but sometimes I can't help but resent the fact that because I look young, I am automatically judged as inexperienced. Especially in the field I am in, I can totally imagine myself walking in and meeting the client for the first time by myself and in their mind they will b thinking... "what's this kid doing here??" Because the moment i open my mouth to greet them... the kiddy voice of mine just confirms their impression. I guess I can't blame them for not taking me seriously.

So yea... I can't deny the fact that i need certain looks to succeed in certain jobs..  But do i wanna look older just to succeed in my job?

I have pretty much given up looking at the one and only design Perth apartments seems to have available... the shoe box apartment... yes a box with a few smaller boxes within it labelled master, bath, bedroom 2, kitchen and living. And you pay a minimum of $500k for that shoe box. See below: (done in ppt, i wonder if all perth developers design their apartments in powerpoint too! hahahaha!)

We neeeeeed some new developers.... who would build something like this..

And guess how much the above cost ? It probably costs at least $700k if it was in Perth city. But this is only listed $480k.... for a 2 bed 2 bath in the heart of melbourne city, literally few steps away from bourke st...collins st... ah... the bliss!

..... Stop and stare, i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

171 days... *chants....Yes I am very patient... I am very patient...*

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see?

OH...Can't believe its 10pm! Saturdays always pass way too quickly .... it's not fair !!!